Enough with the whole “boys will be boys” excuse when it comes to sexual assault being dismissed. It’s not “boys will be boys”, it’s predators will be predators.
Kavanaugh and others like him are nothing more than predators who are supported by other predators when they use the excuse of “boys will be boys” or “it’s just locker room talk” or “she was asking for it.”
Many of us grew up with those type of asshats, you know, the guys who were popular, fairly good looking, or who had an over supply of testosterone within their bodies. Some were the stereotypical jocks, others not so much, but still they were the type of guy most of the rest of us guys somewhat envied because girls looked at them rather than us.
See, most of us knew they were predators. We knew that when they’d hurt a girl that we’d be the one the girl might run to for comfort and consolation. We were the “but you’re more like a brother to me” type guys. We were also the ones to sit there and listen and never try to take advantage of the girl or the situation. We may have internally desperately wanted the girl to wake up and see us as more than just a friend, but we refused to act on it because we valued the girl’s friendship.
We were also the type who, if we were blessed enough to find a girl who wanted to be more than friends, that we would listen to her. If our relationship furthered into a more sexual nature, we were the type of guy to stop if she said stop and, if she didn’t say stop, we were the type of guy who would ask if she was certain and if she was ready sometimes even through the entire course of whatever we were doing. Then, afterwards, we never gossiped about it. We respected both the girl and ourselves by not revealing or bragging about it afterwards.
I know there were and still are more guys like us and feel we must speak out against the predatory guys, now probably more than ever.
We know that “no means no” and “stop means stop”.
We know that if a female is not crystal clear with us then we must ask.
We know that if a female is drunk or otherwise incapacitated that we make certain she is safe and never take advantage of her in any way, shape, or form.
The predators call us derogatory names.
I call us gentlemen or simply real men.